he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
