hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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