Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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