She is in my trunk
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
