I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
