Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
