he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
