My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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