Define "chronic" masturbator.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
