literally had 100 drinks last night.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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