I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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