ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I could fuck to npr.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
