so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
