had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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