pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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