I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
