How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
