@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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