Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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