i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
