It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize