We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
