he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
