Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
