the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
