Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
