Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
