Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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