I puked a lego.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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