we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize