All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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