You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
