Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
