Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
