nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
