you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
