Do you still have your period?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
