Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
