things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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