Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You can't just leave with hair like that
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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