redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
