I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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