Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
