I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
