You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
