She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
