Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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