im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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