this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
