Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did