he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.