White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize