Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal

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  (773): Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal http://tfl.nu/usjw
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.

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  (847): okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy. http://tfl.nu/r1l8
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"

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  (215): YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP" http://tfl.nu/srh9
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.

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  (970): I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian. http://tfl.nu/kify
  Replies (58) Good night (8633) Bad night (794)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox

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  (785): Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox http://tfl.nu/t30w
  Replies (38) Good night (8261) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.

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  (650): Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila. http://tfl.nu/lwvd
  Replies (12) Good night (4356) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.

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  (402): I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of. http://tfl.nu/pxlj
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (2311) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  The ice cream man just told me to use protection.

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  (914): The ice cream man just told me to use protection. http://tfl.nu/w7kz
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  (244): View more from

  There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other

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  (244): There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other http://tfl.nu/rd7y
  Replies (2) Good night (1623) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.

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  (214): Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house. http://tfl.nu/po12
  Replies (10) Good night (1917) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

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  (406): K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/3xax
  Replies (9) Good night (683) Bad night (1050) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.

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  (248): Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now. http://tfl.nu/4pf5
  Replies (5) Good night (421) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now

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  (519): My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now http://tfl.nu/86ra
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays

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  (307): I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays http://tfl.nu/bo0c
  Replies (5) Good night (340) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.

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  (832): Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy. http://tfl.nu/f1si
  Replies (7) Good night (899) Bad night (119)

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