Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat. http://tfl.nu/8o5d
  Replies (18) Good night (2996) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  im holly from the hills drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): im holly from the hills drunk http://tfl.nu/ouvm
  Replies (18) Good night (3773) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar

  (1-716): View more from New York

  I think you broke the trashy scale

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar (1-716): I think you broke the trashy scale http://tfl.nu/ebyr
  Replies (53) Good night (4166) Bad night (2208)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call. http://tfl.nu/u2ur
  Replies (8) Good night (1276) Bad night (4042)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look. http://tfl.nu/k5sb
  Replies (15) Good night (4629) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak http://tfl.nu/5n5o
  Replies (12) Good night (2350) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone http://tfl.nu/6uha
  Replies (5) Good night (1999) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever? (1-443): A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month. http://tfl.nu/w6z0
  Replies (17) Good night (1290) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself. http://tfl.nu/dirk
  Replies (1) Good night (1067) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women. http://tfl.nu/axeg
  Replies (7) Good night (867) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership http://tfl.nu/f2mt
  Replies (7) Good night (949) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home. http://tfl.nu/o9bo
  Replies (4) Good night (748) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there. http://tfl.nu/k4p8
  Replies (0) Good night (641) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina. http://tfl.nu/bvik
  Replies (2) Good night (344) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost. http://tfl.nu/72vv
  Replies (1) Good night (260) Bad night (546)

Randomize