Wat do u mean how?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.