My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
