ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
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She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
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She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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