so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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