Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she peed on how many people?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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