Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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