I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
