My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
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