And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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