Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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