You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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