party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
